I Need To Get A New Hobby

I have often referred to myself as a political junkie—but things are getting out of hand. Let me explain. My friend Ratso Rizzo and I have been spending most of our waking hours debating and critically examining potential running mates for Barack Obama. I think the two of us have personally vetted about 40 candidates thus far. The fact is, we are spending way too much time on this topic. But both Ratso and I are political junkies. Sitting at a coffee shop discussing these sorts of topics is what we do.

If this was as far as it went, I would be happy admitting to just some minor social and personal problems. But the other night, I think my subconscious tried to warn me that I was in some deeper trouble. I had a very clear and vivid dream about George Smathers. That’s right, George Smathers. No one else in the entire fucking country is dreaming about George Smathers--just me. What happened to the days when I dreamed about big-breasted cheerleaders, or playing third base for the Mets? I guess that was back when I was sane. No, my imagination drums up George Smathers.

Most of you don’t know who he is so let me explain. George Smathers (picture below) was a United States senator from the state of Florida from 1951 to 1969. He wasn't a particular memorable statesman. He is probably best know for being a friend of President Kennedy--and the two of them might have spent some time chasing females. There is really no reason a sane individual would dream about Smathers—unless one did nothing else in his life except think about electoral votes in Florida and Ohio, running mates, and those sorts of political things.

I suppose Freud would say that since there are no current Obama running mate possibilities from Florida, my historian-subconscious reverted to past politicians—a nice trait to have I guess. And George Smathers is who my mind dredged up. I suppose he would help carry the state for our side. Maybe I need to get out more—or talk more about the weather, or the opera, or baseball.

If I have any additional dreamlike running mate ideas--I will let you know. Actually I was thinking that Winfield Scott Hancock would really help Obama. He is from the right state (Pennsylvania) and he was a war hero (fought at Gettysburg). Just thinking.....